4 Coping Skills for Dissociation

In my experience working with survivors of trauma, dissociation is the most common symptom that my clients struggle with. Dissociation may feel like you are disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, and your environment. You may feel detached from your body. You may feel as if you are not real and/or the world around you is not real.

Dissociation is usually a coping mechanism that the mind employs to protect itself from overwhelming emotions, thoughts, or sensations. It's a way the nervous system seeks safety. Maybe you're walking through life and something has reminded you of a traumatic memory. In order for your mind to cope with the stress of re-living that trauma, you disconnect from everything. Dissociation may have helped us, and our ancestors, promote survival in the past; but when it happens chronically, we end up wading through life on autopilot and missing much of it, the good and the bad.

So what can we do when we feel dissociated?

1. Engage Your Senses

The best way to cope with dissociation is to come back to your body. The fastest way to come back to your body? Engage your senses.

Notice the details in your immediate environment. Use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique: look around the room and name five colors you see. Four shapes. Notice three sounds you hear. Two textures you feel underneath your fingertips. One smell or taste.

Other tips on engaging your senses: Put a few drops on essential oil on your palms and inhale deeply. Splash some cold water on your face. Take a hot shower. Listen to music.

2. Get Active

Maybe you like to put on music and dance around. Maybe you can get out of the house for a walk (maybe you have a dog you can take!) Maybe you can roll out a yoga mat and do some chaturanga's. Maybe all you can do is put your hands on the wall, push into your hands, and feel all the muscles in your arms activate.

 Dissociation is the nervous system crashing down. In order to get it back up to a regulated state, you need to do something active with your body. Bonus: doing some physical activity also helps reconnect your mind and body, engages your senses, and brings you back to the present moment.

3. Engage Your Thinking Brain

Have you ever heard of the prefrontal cortex? It's the part of your brain in charge of problem solving, decision making, and many other executive functioning skills. It's your best friend when you need to counteract the effects of dissociation because it fosters a sense of control and presence. How do we engage the prefrontal cortex, or, the thinking brain?

Take a pen and start writing. It doesn't have to make sense, and no one has to ever read it. The point is to physically write down some sentences to ground yourself and engage your thinking brain. (Here are some prompts if you need them: What happened today? How do I feel about what's happened? What are some physical sensations I'm feeling in my body right now? What thoughts are running through my mind right now? 

Some other ways to turn on the prefrontal cortex: play a problem-solving game like Sudoku, a jigsaw puzzle, or a language game like Wordle. 

4. Talk to a Friend

Can you call a friend? Get on a discord and chat with someone? Ideally this is someone who is compassionate and can validation your feelings and help you feel less alone. Or, this is someone who can provide a helpful distraction. 

Maybe you can call your therapist. As a therapist, I make myself available to all of my clients during the week between sessions for emergencies. I provide phone coaching to help them out of the crisis. I remind them of all the tools and coping skills that they've been learning in therapy.

Human connection and social support are vital for mental health and can help ground you in reality. Remember, it's okay to ask for help.